


What’s behind a smile?

by Caoilainn



Category: White Collar
Genre: Gen, Reflection, meta-ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 09:39:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15883458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caoilainn/pseuds/Caoilainn
Summary: "Neal and smiles has always gone hand in hand".A look at Neal and what his smiles has both hidden and meant throughout his life.





	What’s behind a smile?

 

_"Old con men never die, our smiles just fade away"_

**_White Collar - Countermeasures s.2 ep.13_ **

 

 

Neal and smiles has always gone hand in hand.

Little Neil James Bennett had smiled. There had been a happy smile for his parents in the morning, a smile and a wave when daddy went to work as well as a big smile and a hug when daddy came home. There had been many smiles for all the magical joys in a small and happy child’s life.

Daniel Brooks had smiled, mostly in an effort to please his mother. Smiles to try and make her happy or smiles in school to charm the teachers and get good reports that he could bring home. Smiles to classmates so that they would like him and invite him to their homes, or smiles to aunt Ellen to get her to let him stay for a while, because his mother was always in a better mood if she didn’t have to spend time with him. It was something Danny had done for as far back as he could remember and he had gotten very good at it. No one around him ever seemed to notice how fake and forced the smiles were.

Alone in his room, bent over his sketchbook, was the only place Danny genuinely smiled for himself. A small contented smile.

When Danny turned 18 however the world as he knew it crumbled when Ellen finally came clean and told him thathis life was pretty much one big lie. Neither him, Ellen nor his mother had the names they were given as children. There was an extended family on both his mother’s and his father’s side whom he had never heard of and couldn’t remember. The biggest lie of all though was the revelation that his father was not a dead hero, like Danny had always been told, but alive and a corrupted cop as well as a murderer.

He felt like a blank page, all script erased from it. If you squinted you might see some trace of the old writing left behind but in essence there were now space for Danny to create something new, something for himself. It might not have been Ellen’s intention but to Danny the revelation had opened doors that he never knew he had searched for, much less needed. It was a blow to his very identity, and it did leave him feeling somewhat empty and lost, but at the same time it wasn’t all bad.

One of the things that had been hard to deal with growing up had been to have to listen to his mother talk about his father, the courageous cop who died a hero, because Danny had always felt like he should but never quite could live up to that image. Even though he had planned to apply to the police academy he was aware that a large part of him preferred the paths a little less traveled.

It was the part of him that enjoyed forging bus passes, breaking & entering, stealing from his teacher's purse and so on. It was something he did without a second thought, an ingrained part of who he was. Not to mention the fact that he had found himself to be quite talented at copying all sorts of paintings, even great masters such as Degas, Renoir, Vermeer and many others. It was easier for him to do this than it was to try and paint something original. It made sense in a way. He couldn’t paint something of his own when he had no idea of who he really was, because even growing up he had always felt like there was something missing.

Danny had tried to be better and to live up to his father's image, all while knowing that he constantly fell short. To hear that his dad was a dirty cop and that his own life was created by the US Marshals turned everything upside down and inside out. Once the shock had passed however Danny felt that under the circumstances this was the best thing that could have happened to him.

The weight of his father's legacy had fallen from his shoulders and he had felt free. In that moment, filled with the exhilarating feeling of freedom, he noticed himself smiling brightly. It was the first real smile he smiled for his own sake, as far as he could remember, because even when he was with others Danny had only ever smiled for his mother sake. A woman who he now knew had been empty and disconnected not because of him but because of how she lost her previous life. The life she had before James Bennett, her beloved husband, turned out to be nothing more than a criminal and before she had to leave everything familiar behind and take the young boy who was a constant reminder of James and enter WITSEC. 

Seeing his reaction to being told the truth about his life Aunt Ellen had told Danny that she hadn’t seen him smile like that in many many years. She had said that the joyful smile reminded her of little Neil, so Danny decided to keep that small part of his past as he reinvented himself as Neal. And anyone who had ever met Neal knew that he smiled.

As he left his old life behind the newly re-named Neal had realized that he was free to be whoever he wanted to be. It was an intoxicating idea to an 18 year old kid who no longer had anyone to answer to.

Making his way in the world Neal soon realized that he had practiced the art of a con most of his life, it had always been there in his smiles. Smiles that hid his inner thoughts and his true emotions. Smiles that served whatever purpose he choose.

To fall back on a default-smile was as much a part of who he was as his skills in committing crime.

The real Neal George Caffrey, under all the masks, smiles because he knows that life is nothing more than a game, a hand of poker. You played the cards you were dealt, be they good or bad. And you always kept an ace or two up your sleeve. As far as Neal was concerned you only ever got what you wanted if you manipulated and maneuvered yourself into a more advantageous position. In Neal’s world the games were high-stakes, a survival of the fittest. You had to look out for yourself because no one else would. However, that was not reason enough not to have fun along the way!

As he got older Neal Caffrey, or Nick Halden, or George Devore, or Steve Tabernacle, or whoever he is at the moment has many many smiles to choose from.

A smile is one of the most important tools for a con artist to have. A smile can dazzle and distract as the web of lies is slowly weaved. A smile is disarming and inviting. A smile incites goodwill in others and make them lower their guard.

Not to say that conning people was as easy as to just smile at the mark and think that a smile was enough. It was however one of the more effective ways and Neal much preferred it over violence or black mail.

Then the life he led caught up with him and because of Agent Peter Burke of the FBI, as well as Kate if Neal had to be honest with himself, he had spent four years behind bars. That’s where he learned that a smile could have serious repercussions. That’s where he learnt that there was a time and a place for smiles and in prison those times and places were rare. A small friendly smile to the guards was okay because it made life a little easier on the inside, but smiling at another inmate often led to nothing but trouble.

When he escaped prison in his attempt to find Kate, and then let Peter Burke “catch” him again, Neal was somewhat out of practice when it came to smiles.

When he got out on the anklet Neal soon realized that Peter seemed to be able to interpret Neal’s smiles to a degree. Sometimes Peter got a hint of what the smiles might be hiding and could guess with a remarkable accuracy. The older man might not know _exactly_ what was behind those smiles but some of his speculations came unnervingly close to the truth.

Working with Peter was the first time Neal had to actively try and find a balance. To smile when a smile is truly warranted and to shed false and bright smiles meant to hide and deflect. Or at least try to use them a _little_ less often than he had before, not that Peter needed to be made aware of Neal’s personal addendum to Peter’s passionate speech about ‘not hiding and being honest’.

It may have taken many years and several incarnations but Neal was learning that when you spend time with real friends, true family and loved ones you didn’t have to smile if you didn’t want to smile. And if he did want to smile, then a smile would come without Neal having to consciously choose from his con man collection of them.

Mozzie was, not unexpectedly, the only one fluent in the language of Neal’s smiles, and consequently Neal found that he needed no smiles other than the genuine ones around his friend. Which was fortunate considering how much time Mozzie spent with Neal…and Neal’s wine collection.

And as time passes life has a way of teaching you lessons. There will be love, pleasure, camaraderie and happiness but there will also be pain, betrayal, heartbreak and disillusionment.

Neal’s smiles may change. Maybe they will be more tempered or maybe more heartfelt, but it will never change the fact that Neal and smiles has always gone hand in hand.


End file.
